This glossary of BDSM (an initialism for bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism, and masochism) defines terms commonly used in the BDSM community.
BDSM activities are described as play in BDSM terminology.Wiseman, Jay (2001) Ten Tips for the Novice, Single, Heterosexual Submissive Woman
Etymology BDSM abbreviations have their origins in classified personal advertisements, where euphemisms for paraphilic and socially disapproved practices were required by periodical editors to circumvent censorship and obscenity law. BDSM abbreviations describe sexual relationship dynamics that can be observed within certain communities.
The term BDSM is a portmanteau of initialisms intended to encompass all of the following activities: Bondage and discipline (B & D or B/D); Dominance and submission (D & S or D/s) (including "master and slave" role-playing scenarios and ongoing relationship structures); Sadism and masochism (S & M or S/M);
BDSM glossary : A relationship in which protocols are in place continuously or indefinitely. : Use of friction (usually with a rough surface) against the receptive partner. May be used to sensitize an area of skin or to stimulate sensation on an area of the body. Abduction Play: A type of play involving prior consent to simulate or role play an Abduction, often with elements of Consensual Non-Consent and Fear play. May also be part of a consensual Captive/Captor dynamic. (ABDL): A form of ageplay; adult babies receive gratification from role-playing an infant. This can involve submission on the adult baby's part. Diaper lovers receive gratification from the wearing and often using of diapers. Whilst these two paraphilias are distinct, it is common that a person who enjoys one will also enjoy the other to some degree. : The time after a BDSM scene or play session in which the participants calm down, discuss the previous events and their personal reactions to them, and slowly come back in touch with reality. This is particularly important during intense sexual roleplaying activities. : Bondage & discipline, dominance & submission, and sadism & masochism: a combined acronym often used as a catchall for anything in the kink scene. : Commonly referred to as consensual blackmail. Where a submissive provides material that would be undesirable or have social or career consequences for them if it was made public, in order to force them to stay in a relationship. The material can also be in the form of naked photos or videos of them or such material taken as part of BDSM sessions. Commonly used as part of consensual non-consent where they can only refuse to perform an activity or have an action performed if such material is released to the public or some individuals. Blood Play: A type of play involving the intentional use of (usually fake) blood for enjoyment or fetishization of the blood-related activity or of the blood itself. : Acts involving the physical restraint of a partner. Bondage typically refers to total restraint, but it can be limited to a particular body part, such as breast bondage. People can be bound with rope, chains, tape, ribbon, zip ties, or other materials. See also "self-bondage". : One who receives physical sensation from a top in a scene; the receiving partner. / Bratting: A sub who behaves disobediently, mischievously, or uncontrollably; often to provoke a response. This dynamic is consented to by both parties, where the top is often referred to as a "brat tamer". Brats are typically argumentative and requires more work for a dominant partner to tame. : The act of tying breasts so that they are either flattened against the chest or they bulge. : Torture of the breasts. : Restriction of oxygen to heighten sexual arousal and orgasm. Methods to achieve this include strangulation, suffocation, and smothering. : A sex toy that is designed to be inserted into the rectum for sexual pleasure. They come in a variety of sizes; some can vibrate. Sometimes used in Petplay, with a tail attached. Some plugs have a locking mechanism that can increase the erotic or humiliation factor by preventing self-removal. : A form of erotic sexual denial or orgasm denial whereby a person is prevented (often with a locking device) from access to, or stimulation of, their genitals, save at the whim or choice of their partner. : (CBT): Torture of the penis and testicles for sexual gratification. : Submissive or slave who is owned, usually (but certainly not exclusively) in a loving intimate relationship. A dominant may have multiple persons collared. Also: a pup's status, as differentiated from a "stray". : The formal acceptance by a dominant of a sub's service. Also, the ceremony when a dominant commits to a sub (much like a wedding or other contract). : A document laying out and formalizing all aspects of the dynamic, to include details such as expectations of behaviour, dynamic type, hard and soft limits, types of play or activities involved, etc. : "Hurts so good!” A type of physical stimulation that incorporates feeling of both pleasure and pain. : (CNC): An agreement where parties act as if consent has been waived. Also known as blanket consent. Consent is given in advance for some or any actions, and the dominant has the discretion to continue with any action or activity, even after the subject would have otherwise indicated they wish to withdraw consent."Consensual non-consent" , Informed Consent dictionary, Accessed 12 June 2012.Dictionary of BDSM Terms , "Consensual Non-Consent", Accessed 12 June 2012. Not to be confused with 'rape play'. : Mutual agreement to terms of action, as in a scene or ongoing BDSM relationship. : Dominance/submission: play or relationships that involve a psychologically based power exchange. : Roleplaying where a "Daddy Dom" acts as a paternal figure to a "little girl" submissive. This dynamic is not necessarily sexual and is centered around trust and care. (DM): A person who supervises the interactions between participants at a play party or dungeon to enforce house rules—essentially, the bouncer of a BDSM event. They may also help in basic ways, such as giving water to participants. : A person who exercises control (from dominant – contrasted with sub). This term is generally used for male dominants, but can be used for anyone regardless of gender. : A person who exercises control – in contrast with a submissive. : A female dominant (see also Dominatrix). : The euphoric state of mind a dom may enter during a scene. May include an intensified perception of the scene. : A room or area containing BDSM equipment and space for scenes. : Higher risk activity, physically and/or emotionally. Because the definition of edgeplay is subjective to the specific players (i.e., what is risky for one person may not be as risky for another), there is not a universal list of what is included in edgeplay. Examples may include bloodplay, breath play and gunplay. : Gratifying or sensual sexual arousal experienced from enemas. Enemas are also used in sadomasochistic activities for erotic humiliation or physical discomfort. : Humiliating someone during a sexual act. This act could be either verbal or physical (for example, insulting a partner, making a partner display their private parts to a group of people, or even urinating or defecating on a partner). It can be a great source of pleasure for some people. : Keeping another person aroused while delaying or preventing resolution of the feelings, to keep them in a continual state of anticipatory tension, inner conflict, and heightened sensitivity. (See also tease and denial and chastity.) : The act of spanking another person for the sexual arousal or gratification of either or both parties.Markham, Jules. Consensual Spanking. (Adlibbed Ltd., 2005) : Insertion of a piece of peeled ginger root into the anus, vagina, or urethra. : (Also known as money slavery or findom) is a sexual fetish associated with a practice of dominance and submission, where a submissive (money slave, finsub, paypig, human ATM, or cash piggy) will give material items and money to a financial dominant (money Mistress/Master, findomme/findom, money Dom/Domme or cash Master/Mistress). : Inserting a hand into the vagina or rectum. : Where a subject has no control in being brought to orgasm, either through physical or mental restraint. May also be used where someone is continuously brought to orgasm to the point of it becoming painful, uncomfortable, or numb, rather than being pleasurable. Free use: An arrangement in which consent is assumed to be given for sexual and/or kink activities. There may still be limits on what activities consent can be assumed for, and which people consent can be assumed for. Freely Given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, Specific (FRIES): A consent model used in sex education to teach consent in general and the kinky community as a guideline, "Freely Given" refers to consent given without coersion or pressure, "Reversible" also standing for "Revokable" meaning consent can be withdrawn at any time for any reason, bringing an end to the activity. "Informed" means all participants understand what they are agreeing to, including possible health risks, effects such as marks and how long or short-term these effects may be. "Enthusiastic" refers to Enthusiastic consent, the person is certain and is making it known with clear communication. "Specific" They are consenting to what was discussed, consenting to giving oral sex does not mean consenting to being used roughly like a sex toy, and it doesn't mean consent for all oral sex can be assumed in the future unless that was discussed. : Torture of the genitals. : Urinating on, or being urinated on by, another person. Good pain/Bad pain *Good pain* – The kind of pain in that feels exciting, arousing, or satisfying (like a sting, thud, or stretch). It’s intense but enjoyable. *Bad pain* – Pain that feels wrong, unsafe, or harmful (like sharp injury pain, burning, or joint damage). It signals danger and means play should stop.
: A lifestyle based on the fictional slavery practice outlined in John Norman novels. The dynamic is typically male-dominant and female-submissive ("kajira"). It is generally seen as distinct from the BDSM community at large. : The practice of including actual or simulated firearms into a scene. : "Hanky Code" for short, A code used to indicate to others one's area of interest in a sexual context, ex: a Handkerchief worn on the left indicates a top, on the right indicates a bottom; generally used in an LGBTQ+ context, different colours and patterns indicate what kind of sexual activity one is looking for, such as Black for S&M. : What someone absolutely will not do; non-negotiable (as opposed to "soft limits"). : Tying up a submissive's wrists and ankles, fastening them together behind their back using physical restraints, such as rope or cuffs.
: Part of sensation play, dealing with impacts from whips, riding crops, paddles, floggers, etc.
: A form of scenario play, usually in a Master/slave-like relationship, where a submissive has to strip naked at the command of a dominant and adopt a pose to have their body, posture, grooming, and appearance inspected. They may also have the execution of other duties examined during this time. During an inspection, areas of their body and their state may be examined. After an inspection, a sub may be rewarded for passing or punished for failing. Inspections may also be performed for eroticism or objectification, either in private or in view of others. Kinbaku (Shibari): Literally means "tight binding.". Kinbaku is a Japanese style of bondage which combines elegant simplicity and intricate patterns into Kinbaku-bi ("beauty of tight binding."). This form of bondage may also restrict movement of the submissive individual. : Any sexual act that is generally considered to be unconventional. : See enema play.